Whenever you're dealing with something difficult, such as shame and regret from the past or anxiety and worry about the future, you need to find a P.A.L. Here's what it stands for:
Presence
Acceptance
Love
These three things can help you find the perspective to maintain inner peace during times of great stress. Author and spiritual innovator Byron Katie said, "Reality is always kinder than the story we tell about it." If you aren't in a place where you can understand the truth of that statement, P.A.L. can help.
Presence is simply a focus on the here and now. Mindfulness is another word for it. The benefits of being present are many. Past baggage can really weigh us down, keeping us from acting in the present to create a better future. If we can set aside that baggage, even for a short time, it can create more opportunities to feel joyful. Fears about future uncertainty can also invade the present moment and cause us pain. If you're driving your car and worrying about all the things you'll need to do when you get to your destination, you may be creating unnecessary anxiety. If your thoughts are constructive (for example, making a mental list of the tasks you will tackle first), that's one thing. But if your mind is simply spinning then nothing is being accomplished except ensuring that you will be in a negative emotional state, which will prevent you from giving your best effort when the time comes to act. Being present is the solution. If you are driving, focus on driving. Look at the road, listen to the radio or to the noise of the wind. Feel the steering wheel in your hands, notice the temperature, the cars around you, the scenery in front of you. If you are walking or working or talking, be present in that moment. All anyone can do is one thing at a time. Choose a task and give it your full attention. If you must multi-task, switching quickly between multiple things, still give your attention to what you are doing in each moment.
Acceptance offers healing. Whatever your reality looks like, accept it. This includes acknowledging the good and the bad. Resisting reality, wishing desperately that it could be something other than what it is, can be the natural state for many. However, it's usually a recipe for pain. By acknowledging reality we reduce the dissatisfaction we feel in life. There's nothing wrong with working to change reality, and to improve our own or someone else's circumstances. However, when we do so after first acknowledging it then our change efforts will be accompanied by a sense of inner peace whether we succeed or fail.
Love permeates every corner of the universe. It doesn't matter if you have a partner or not, if you have a loving family or have lost them due to choice or circumstance. You can feel love right now in this moment. You can open your heart and allow that feeling to enter it. You can be kind and gentle with yourself, even when you make mistakes. You can show love for others by serving them and giving them the gift of your attention. With practice, you can learn to replace fear and doubt with love and light.
Each of these three components -- Presence, Acceptance and Love -- can individually transform your life and your world. Together, they pack a powerful punch that can conquer discouragement and worry and replace them with perfect peace.
